Lately in life, a lot seems to be out of wack. With my knowledge of how the world works, and how the people around me think and act, I come to see that the world will never be as perfect as I believed it to be as a child. The time when getting the new Power Ranger action figure brought bliss. Now, holding onto something so material just seems to bring sorrow.
How could I have ever been so controlled, and obsessed over something so miniscule and useless? It is not much different than my current pathetic obsession with video games. How can i make myself more useless to the world than by sitting in a chair, or on a couch, and simply moving my thumbs as i use up energy and time that could be used to further someone elses joy and comfort? Am i truely that selfish? The answer is yes. And along with me, are millions who are just the same.
When did it become all about us? Why is it so hard to give up our own comfort, our own time, for some one else? There was a time when we cared about our neighbors. The time when our friends distress took presidence over our own. A time where "After you" was a common phrase to hear. A time where gentlemen were gentle and where women were protected, and love was not a game.
It makes me sick to think of what we have become, yet I cannot drive myself to change. Why is it so hard to push myself towards what I know is right? Why can I not relinquish my self obsession? I hate what I am, yet I cannot become what I wish I was. -GILT-
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2 comments:
hey bro,
wow i did not think you thought all of that *dang*
but dont put yourself down you are who you are God made you that way. and we should try to be more respectfull
ily
kenzy
I agree with Ken. If you seek peace, give your sorrow to God. All of it. And don't take it back. Submit. Cry out to him and he will hear you.
Venting is perfectly fine, but don't get caught up in thinking that it will fix anything. Those of us who read your writings are forced to think, and change our wicked behavior. But if you're still hurting you need to give it to god and let him handle it. The hard part is letting go.
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