Sunday, September 2, 2007
Why is trust so hard?
Again and again I am blessed. Yet, again and again i question God's interest in me, or my life. Have I allowed myself to be deceived by the world to the degree that i question the one truth that gives me life? It is my fault. My unwillingness to see that which is directly in front of me. It remains a mystery to even myself why i reject all that comforts me. I want to be loved, yet reject any passion towards me. I want to be respected, yet deny myself the privilege. I want to believe, yet constantly question that which I once trusted. What have I made myself? Why do i feel so undeserving of that which is freely given? I have taken being humble dangerously far. What used to be healthy has become the seed of my self hate. If there is any hope of rescue from this dark place, it lies in the trust of the one who brought light to the world so long ago.
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how did you go back to God? i mean, how were you able to? i try, but i jsut cant, theres so much holding me back, and still i can call on him and he listens even though he knows instantly after i will go back to my sinfull ways with only a second thought. its to hard for me. how did you do it? oh and i just made an account on here so i could comment u i'm not going to use it so if ur gonna reply, send me a message on myspace. my thingy is INSANITY?! YAY! :D i'm in ur friends list
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